All the notes were taken directly from “What Got You Here Won’t Get You There” by Marshall Goldsmith.
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Ask for two ideas; listen; say thank you.
Until you get everyone who is affected by your behavior on your side and working to help you change, you haven’t really begun to get better.
- Pick the one behavior that you would like to change which would make a significant, positive difference in your life.
- Describe this objective in a one-on-one dialogue with anyone you know.
Some of the truest advice can come from strangers. We are all human beings. We know what is true. And when a useful idea comes along, we don’t care who the source is. (If you think about it, a stranger—someone who has no past with you and who cannot possibly hold your past failings against you or, for that matter, even bring them up—may be your ideal feedforward “partner.”)
- Ask that person for two suggestions for the future that might help you achieve a positive change in your selected behavior
The only ground rule is that there can be no mention of the past. Everything is about the future.
Listen attentively to the suggestions. Take notes if you like. Your only ground rule: You are not allowed to judge, rate, or critique the suggestions in any way. You can’t even say something positive.
We can focus on hearing without having to worry about responding.
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